One of the wonderful Anons had this headcanon about pre-Surak Spock that ends up in modern Vulcan and then meeting Jim and Leonard, his mates, and offers himself to them and they all live happily-ever-after. I think about this way too often and now I have a twist on it.
Pre-Surak Spock is actually from an alternate dimension where Vulcans are still a warrior race without much interest in space travel although technically they are part of the Federation and agreeable to trade, etc. Somehow Pre-Surak Spock ends up on a small Federation ship in nu!Verse and the crew can’t handle him because not only is he cursing at them in Ancient Vulcan but he thinks he’s been kidnapped because he is a Prince among his people and terrifies everyone and the crew manages to get him into the brig. Their frantic captain hails the nearest vessel which happens to the Enterprise, saying they have this Vulcan whose gone crazy and god please help us. When Pre-Surak Spock is beamed aboard on the Enterprise in the custody of a team of security officers, Jim takes one look at him and sucks in a breath. At his side, Leonard says something like “oh god another one” because this is not the first Spock from a parallel time they have met obviously. Everyone else is shocked speechlessly, including their Spock, with the exception of the prisoner.
Pre-Surak Spock only needs to see Jim and Leonard once to know they are his, and then suddenly he isn’t fighting his bonds anymore, he’s on his knees and, like Anon said, offering himself for their pleasure and Vulcan-kissing the ground Jim and Leonard stand on and NOBODY knows what to do. And Spock - Spock knows Ancient Vulcan well enough to understand what his counterpart is babbling on about and he has no f-ing clue how to proceed. Jim and Leonard turn to him for help and THAT’S when pre-Surak notices the other Vulcan in the room. At first he thinks this is the Vulcan who has betrayed him to pirates among his own people and then it occurs to him that the Vulcan looks just like him, only without this traditional braid of hair and different garb, and suddenly he knows something stranger is going on that a kidnapping. But that doesn’t matter because he’s met his mates and he must have them. Pre-Surak Spock overthrows his guards in a moment of inattention and wedges himself in between Jim and Leonard and this look-alike Vulcan and declares a challenge - a combat to the death - and the winner wins the right to woo the beautiful humans. At this point someone has had the sense to get a universal translator, and pre-Surak Spock is saying, “You will not have what is mine, and once you are defeated, I will lay the universe at their feet and serve them for as long I shall live.”
Leonard butts in with no one is fighting with anyone whatever the reason, and especially not with Spock, and Jim agrees. Pre-Surak Spock thinks this means that they accept him without the challenge and tells them their hearts are as generous as their minds are beautiful and they will not regret choosing him. He crowds into them and purrs for the m, promising to please them with his body. Jim and Leonard are red-faced, and their Spock takes advantage of pre-Surak Spock’s preoccupation with wooing to nerve-pinch him into unconsciousness.
From there on out, they work hard to figure out what to do about this Spock that does not belong in their universe, how he got there and how to send him back to his proper time and place. But pre-Surak Spock is a big distraction, because he does not like to be separated from Jim and Leonard and if they aren’t around, he goes feral and sedation doesn’t work while on them, not that that anyone wants to risk a limb getting close enough to hypo the out-of-control Vulcan. So Jim and Leonard take turns staying near him to keep him from hurting anyone (which he obeys them without question), and pre-Surak Spock keeps on with his wooing and promises. He sings to them and caresses them with his eyes because he cannot touch them physically, and tells them of his proven prowess and virility. He begs to touch their minds and their bodies, and really it’s tough for Jim and Leonard to bear because they’ve never been courted by someone so determined and moreover he is a version of their Spock and even if they have never once admitted their attraction to their Spock, not even to each other, this wild Vulcan is a great temptation.
But they try to explain again and again that they are not this pre-Surak Spock’s Jim and Leonard; that he must return to his universe. Pre-Surak Spock says he cannot mistake his mates, that his mind recognized them instantly that which completes him, that he will not leave them even if it means giving up his world and all that he once was.
Spock for his part is deeply disturbed by all of it, and when he can bear his questions no more, he confronts his counterpart when he knows that neither Jim nor Leonard will be in the room they have assigned to their ‘guest’. By then pre-Surak Spock has accepted that this other Vulcan is himself, although not like him, but that also infuriates him. Spock tells his counterpart that his behavior is unacceptable. Pre-Surak Spock counters that he feels only contempt for this version of himself who has rejected the men who are his mates. How can he stand to see them in the company of other males who might take them when he can feel the beauty of their minds? Spock says he does not feel their minds, and pre-Surak Spock is taken aback to learn of this. He asks if Spock has been damaged in such a way that he cannot feel others, and Spock explains to his people it is unlawful to touch other minds without permission and so he maintains his mental shields at all times.
"Then you do not know," pre-Surak Spock tells him, suddenly understanding, "that they are yours and you are theirs."
And Spock… Spock for the first time admits haltingly that he knows his mind and Jim’s are compatible from their previous mind-melds. He has never touched the doctor’s mind. But it is not logical to assume both are destined to be mated with him in this universe. It could not be, could it?
"Your doubt is your own," Spock’s counterpart insists. "For me, there is none. Now that I have met them, I could not part from either. Where one is the sun, the other is water, and I am but the earth in need of both to live." He refuses to converse further on the matter, because this other Spock who should be him seems cowardly.
Spock leaves, more unsettled than ever.
And it is to Leonard that he goes, who takes one look at him standing in the shadow of his office doorway and says, “What’s wrong?”
"I do not know precisely what troubles me, Doctor," Spock replies. But then he comes forward.
"It’s the other… Vulcan," Leonard guesses. "We told it wouldn’t be wise to speak to him. He’s not you, okay?"
"Yet he is as I could be," murmurs Spock. Then he comes to a decision, for it is clear what must happen next, and asks Leonard for a favor. He asks to meld with him.
Leonard pales, but Spock promises that it would be only briefly, just a touch, because he must have an answer to a question he can get no other way. He also says that if Leonard refuses, and he has the right to do so, that he will understand and he will not ask again.
But Leonard surprises him, by agreeing. ”I’ve got my own questions,” he says, not explaining further.
And so Spock initiates the mind meld.
One second, Spock learns in that moment, is all that is required to change the one’s world. From the moment their minds join, he comprehends the truth of pre-Surak Spock’s claims. There is a way in which Leonard fits into him which is nothing short of fate.
He pulls back and ends the connection before his thoughts become known. Leonard blinks and only remarks, “That was quick.”
Spock excuses himself and leaves.
The headcanon goes on from here. Basically they figure out how to send pre-Surak Spock back to his time, and by that time Jim and Leonard are starting to be swayed by him. It’s terrible for everyone, because Jim and Leonard know he doesn’t belong with them, and pre-Surak Spock says he will die if they send him away. Spock confronts him again, saying it is not a matter of choice. He even tells his counterpart that there must be two other men like Jim and Leonard who belong that to Spock in his universe that will never met him, that possibly could live unhappy lives because pre-Surak Spock is not there to care for them as they should be cared for. Pre-Surak Spock is also moved when he hears this, but then he is also suddenly suspicious. He asks why does it sound as if Spock accepts that Jim and Leonard are his mates. ”Because I have confirmed it,” Spock tells him.
The thought of someone else joining with his mates sends pre-Surak Spock into a rage. ”How dare you touch what is mine!” he roars and attacks Spock.
But to his surprise, Spock lets himself be hit only once before he shoves the feral Spock away, into something that shatters, and declares in Ancient Vulcan, “No, it is you who trespasses. They are mine.”
The guards rush into the room, having heard the sounds of the fight, to subdue pre-Surak Spock. Jim and Leonard are called to the scene, and that’s when they realize there can be no more delays because there cannot be two Spocks in their lives, not like this.
They take pre-Surak Spock to the transporter room, preparing to send him home. He struggles the entire way until he is forced towards the platform, and then he throws off his guards and tries to crawl across the floor to Jim and Leonard, begging them not to send him away. It’s worse than either Jim or Leonard imagined, and they visibly have to restrain themselves from going to the Vulcan, who says over and over again that he loves them, he cannot live without them, please no don’t do this. It’s Leonard who breaks first, crying, “Please, Spock, stop!”
Pre-Surak Spock does, tears on his face. Jim orders everyone out of the transporter room, hesitating when he says that their Spock can stay.
Leonard says to the kneeling Vulcan, his voice heavy, “Don’t you understand? You’re not here to be with us - you’ve come here so that you will know we exist for you.”
Jim lays a comforting hand on his friend’s shoulder before he goes to pre-Surak Spock and pulls him to his feet, saying simply, “We can’t be yours, Spock. I’m sorry.”
Pre-Surak Spock looks back to Leonard with a heartbroken expression.
”I’m sorry,” the doctor says too.
Gently Leonard and Jim walk him onto the transporter pad. They say something else to him in a low tone, and then step off.
Spock steps behind the control console, grateful for once that his Vulcan control keeps his hands steady. He inputs the settings to send his counterpart back to his universe, and then - just before he activates it - looks up at the Vulcan with his head bowed, at this great warrior broken by the fact that his mates do not want him.
He says in their native tongue, “Do not grieve. I am Spock, son of Sarek. I am you. This, you have taught me.”
Pre-Surak Spock lifts his head. ”Will you honor them? Will you protect them? Tell me, Spock, son of Sarek, who is I and yet not, will you give all that you are to these men until your last breath?”
"And beyond," Spock promises.
His counterpart nods, grieved though he still is. “Then i give them to you - and find my own.”
"Thank you," Spock replies in Standard, and then he activates the sequence. Pre-Surak Spock dematerializes and is gone.
…I could go on from here. How Jim, acting so strong, is close to breaking down in the turbolift later on, and Leonard holds him. How their Spock drops to his knees at the sight of their pain, and as for forgiveness. How, shocked, they make him stand up again. How Spock confesses that he hates that he cannot be the same, that he cannot express his feelings so openly or cannot sing to them in the corridors or kiss their hands. He is not his counterpart. He is unworthy.
And that is how they fall-in-love, all of them. That is my McSpirk headcanon.
Thank you, Anon, for your pre-Surak Spock imaginings!
MODS NOTE - klmeri this was absolutely BREATHTAKING writing oh my god i am in awe
the way you wrote spocks inner turmoil and pre-surak!spock’s heart break just slayed me and when bones started crying in the transporter room i did too
thank you so much!!!!
after friday’s child ‘oochy woochy coochy coo is an obscure earth dialect’ spock actually prepares a lecture on earth’s hundreds baby talks/languages, ending it with saying that they all mean the same no matter the language, and that they have in fact no actual meaning, and that it is highly illogical and unefficient to learn to babies to communicate with words that do not even have an actual meaning. and imagine jim grinning wide all the way through the lecture because yes that’s actually spock joking back and isn’t it precious :)
(ps : i love your blog)
(pps : my trekkie blog is capstartrek.tumblr.com)
MODS NOTE- oh my lord cumberbatchedandproud can you imagine spock pulling out equations and tables during this presentation and everyone else freaking out because whAT is going on???
jims loving it